Everyone experiences risk. No one is immune to the anxiety that comes with it.
The difference between the daring and the successful is that they’ve learned to cope with it.
Questions to ask:
How can I minimize my anxieties surrounding this?
Can I make myself feel better about this decision?
The more you dive, the more you’ll enter the water in a way that doesn’t hurt, and the board won’t seem quite as high…
Jump.
We’re bombarded. With people, connections, business cards. Social media has connected us in ways we’ve never experienced before.
But is it more meaningful? Valuable?
Consider how it has changed your own relationships and experiences.
Now that so much of our lives are recorded and documented online, how necessary is it to cultivate experiences sans media and technology?
How do you cut through all of the noise to find what’s most valuable to you… as a consumer, individual, professional?
Do you take advantage of the interplay of industries, reaching out to connect with others who might contribute to better work and better ideas?
Every day I speak with individuals who tell me they want to succeed in a big way. While “success” can mean something different to each person, most people are looking to surpass the point they’ve arrived to date — a refreshed, higher, faster, better, cleaner, sharper, more focused state of being. Which seems pretty intuitive. People with ambition and drive want to move forward. Occupying the same space without any change one year from now can sound frightening, if not repulsive, to those with momentum and growth on the mind.
Yet, too often, these same individuals are taking specific actions in their lives to demonstrate otherwise, indirectly sabotaging their path towards greatness.
Find a mentor, a group, an outsider who will level with you and call your bluff. Put yourself in the position to listen openly and honestly, so that this time next year, you’ll have moved in the direction and at the speed you intended.
A commonly asked question, no matter what kind of event. The answer is usually simple:
Dress how you’d want to represent yourself.
By asking, “What is everyone else going to wear? What is acceptable?” think of the position you’re placing yourself in. Are you wanting to see if you’re most comfortable shoes, the ones that have taken you across continents and through cities, would be appropriate? Did you want to sport your oldest, most worn (most comfortable!) jeans to a meet a group of strangers? Were you really considering renting a tuxedo or digging that gown out of the closet?
Are you worried you’ll stand out? Or are you hoping to sneak by? Are you afraid of looking “too nice” and separating yourself from the crowd in that way?
As much as our teen selves and our inner rebels hate to admit, what we wear and the way we wear it communicates bits of our personality and what we stand for. Our clothes and our appearance is the easiest way a stranger can assesses us, and it is often the first thing we’re judged by when we first make contact.
Recently, I attended an event where I watched a couple who went “all out” — yes, complete with costumes — easily start conversations and move with ease around the room. Their dress served as a flag, signaling to other guests that they were ready to meet and mingle and share ideas. It worked.
So really, does it matter what the dress code is? Instead, think about:
How do I want to represent myself in this situation?
What would make me feel most confident when I enter? When I’m introduced?
Do I want to fit in?
Or do I want to stand out?
The x-factor, hormones, shared experiences, common struggles, learned skills, common hobbies, unique endeavors, a certain look…
Both online and off, what is that magnetic pull that creates curiosity from one person to another? What’s that secret sauce that drives some people to test limits, push boundaries, and draw their own road maps to living?
Think of personal trainers. There are trainers, the ones that tell you what to do and what exercise is next, maybe will even count the number of times you perform an exercise. But then there are trainers, the types of people you want to pay just to be around them. Trainers who keep you returning, when, after the initial lure of physical fitness has ended, you want to continue to grow and learn and be in their company. Something inside of you wants to make them proud.
There’s the shop owner. His store is an extra walk or a longer drive, but because of his smile, the way he completes your transaction, the way he waves at you when you leave, you take extra time out of your day to visit him. You want to support his business. You want to watch him succeed.
A contagious laugh. A beaming smile. Inspiring stories that have no end. Challenges that have been overcome.
What defines the type of person you like to be around?
In a world in which our lives grow increasingly intertwined, the time and space for us to cultivate meaningful personal relationships has become encroached upon. Superficial connections are quickly, easily made, so authentic relationships — ones that are valuable and mutually shared — have become scare.
How can we find and establish them if we’re chained to the immediate fix? Email alerts, the need to be in the know, the reward centers of our brains that light up by positive feedback, sudden jolts of praise that mask our insecurities.
Yet these insecurities, the precise vulnerabilities that make us human, make us appealing to others, we mask. Whether it’s fear or loneliness or the need for protection, we create boundaries to hide them. And we do it well. These boundaries manifest online, affect our daily interactions, and prohibit us from taking that extra step, form new connections, generate new ideas.
Do you create incubators within your life for connection? Do you seek out people who are successful? Or do you passively wait for them to come to you?
