Project Exponential

Category: Questions

  • 12 questions to turn small talk into real talk 

    So much of getting to know someone is about asking the right questions (and really listening to the answer). If you’re feeling stumped on how to get beyond weather, kids, and menu options, use these prompts to guide you towards stuff that really matters. I’ve separated them into three categories to help you identify which questions to ask depending on situation and individual:

    • Passion – For individuals you admire and want to model your own life after; figure out what gets someone going, what moves them, brightens their day, fuels their dreams, inspires their work.
    • Personal – For individuals you’d like to get to know better; these questions can be effective ice breakers to better understand motivations of an acquaintance.
    • Bridge – For individuals you’d like to collaborate and partner with; these questions allow you to assess areas of overlap and uncover how you can thoughtfully connect and add value.

    Passion

    Uncover the sources from which individuals draw inspiration to learn more about their interests and gain added reserves of creativity, insight, and spark for yourself. See how they view the world (and think about ways you might help).

    1. What inspires you?

    2. What one problem do you presently wish you could solve?

    3. If you were given 1 million dollars, what would you do with it?

    4. What’s your favorite aspect of your work?

    Personal

    Not everyone finds it easy to talk about their hobbies, dislikes, and passions. Concrete questions can facilitate discussion and provide insight into someone’s dreams and goals. Ensure conversation feels less like an interview and more like an exchange by offering complementary ideas when appropriate.

    5. What does your perfect day look like?

    6. What would “your book” be about?

    7. What do you wish you would have learned in school (but didn’t)?

    8. What are you afraid of?

    Bridge

    Identifying pain points and similar areas of interest can assist your effectiveness as a connector and impresario. Turn an introductory conversation into something worthwhile by leaving something valuable behind — a new idea, a business contact, an unavoidable question.

    9. What’s the most difficult part of your work?

    10. What has been the most valuable introduction you’ve received?

    11. Where are you stuck?

    12. How can I help?

  • What is your special?

    You have something to offer no one else has.

    Your choice is whether or not to share it with others.

    You have a unique twist, a special tint coloring your work and the way you see the world.

    Find people and environments that encourage this.

  • This second

    You’re not going to get it back.

    Think about that when considering the value of your time.

    I’m taking something precious from you as you read this.

    Now think about the people you’re choosing to spend your time with.

    Would anything change if you honored how much each second is really worth?

  • Redefine work

    It’s no wonder we consider work very separate from play. It’s hounded into our heads since we’re able to talk.

    We watch Dad grimace as he races to work, and Mom moan about never having enough time (and she doesn’t look like she’s having fun). We’re given hours to learn, write, read, and make things. We have separate hours to talk, move, go outside, discover, and mess around. Recess becomes our gold.

    Once the school bell rings freedom, homework hours stand between us and our reward: time to play and make mischief. We quickly learn that good behavior and productivity yields more play time. Decisions are easy.

    Then we’re told to find jobs. Quite naturally, we look for ones that bestow upon us the right to play. We look for more money, more time, more vacation hours to do the things we really want to do.

    “Work” becomes the vehicle through which play is possible, our income, our sacrifice. Worse yet, boredom. “Play” stands for our hobbies, our leisure, our rest.

    Darlene Cohen, author of The One Who Is Not Busy, spells it out:

    “We describe our activity as either ‘busy’ or ‘not busy,’ either productively working or taking a blissful break from working. But actually it is possible to experience both ‘busy’ and ‘not busy’ simultaneously, to reach beyond the labels and connect with our work in a way that is deeply satisfying. What this requires is that we develop the breadth of vision and the mental flexibility to be both busy and not busy at the very same time.”

    Is it possible to shift our perceptions and redefine what’s work and what’s play?

    Can you turn one into the other and find joy in each?

  • Someone is watching

    Somebody is always watching. You might not think it, but your actions are noticed.

    The things you do and the way you speak influence others.

    Others influence you just as easily.

    Who do you watch?

  • Who are you looking for?

    There are lots of people in this world, and most of us want to connect. We visit bars, churches, gyms, groups, conferences, events, concerts, and parties hoping to meet someone who might send our world into a tailspin and infuse our life with new meaning.

    We look for ways to deepen our existing relationships and simultaneously want to expand our network, expose ourselves to new options, and find different ways of doing things. We want to become better.

    As business professionals, we attend seminars hoping to interact with someone who can offer insight into our work and challenge our beliefs. We sign up for groups, add ourselves to lists, fill our calendars with coffee dates, and comb our friends’ friends for people who might add value to our world.

    With so many people looking, why are so many failing?

    I recently spoke to a very charming, engaging entrepreneur who attended an expertly planned conference. Top players in international policy dappled the schedule, and high-profile keynotes lectured every hour. From the get-go, testimonials gushed all of the wonderfulness of the event, and sign-up sheets offered prime opportunities for attendees to market their businesses. Yet a very eager impresario walked away feeling like something was missing. Despite an impeccable schedule, he didn’t feel he had the opportunity to connect with others.

    Information gleaned from speakers is surely helpful, inspiring, informative, but what’s the most valuable aspect of an event? Relationships. Think about the expertise in the room, just waiting to be accessed.

    Yes, it can be difficult to strum up conversations in professional environments. It isn’t easy to approach strangers and put yourself on the line. It’s hard to be vulnerable.

    How often do you step outside of your comfort zone?

    What if you found yourself in a situation in which you didn’t know what to expect? You’re not sure who is going to be there, what you’re getting yourself into. Would the connections be different?

    What if the only thing you knew is that you wanted to take something meaningful from the experience? What if you approached your life that way?