Project Exponential

Category: Observations

  • Are you the first to the party?

    Most people are afraid to arrive early. They stall around and carefully consider the appropriate time to enter the room. Arriving before others places you in the category of looking too eager, bland, idle. And think of all that empty space you have to fill before other guests arrive—silence! awkwardness! preparation! look busy! smile!

    Yet these in-between moments are when great relationships are formed. The moments before the talk begins, the hours after the conference has ended, the off-campus lunch break.

    Show up early and offer help. You’ll be thanked, you’ll be the first to meet attendees, and you’ll establish familiarity with your surroundings before the rest show up.

  • Do you want to win?

    Every day I speak with individuals who tell me they want to succeed in a big way. While “success” can mean something different to each person, most people are looking to surpass the point they’ve arrived to date — a refreshed, higher, faster, better, cleaner, sharper, more focused state of being. Which seems pretty intuitive. People with ambition and drive want to move forward. Occupying the same space without any change one year from now can sound frightening, if not repulsive, to those with momentum and growth on the mind.

    Yet, too often, these same individuals are taking specific actions in their lives to demonstrate otherwise, indirectly sabotaging their path towards greatness.

    Find a mentor, a group, an outsider who will level with you and call your bluff. Put yourself in the position to listen openly and honestly, so that this time next year, you’ll have moved in the direction and at the speed you intended.

  • What’s the dress code?

    A commonly asked question, no matter what kind of event. The answer is usually simple:

    Dress how you’d want to represent yourself.

    By asking, “What is everyone else going to wear? What is acceptable?” think of the position you’re placing yourself in. Are you wanting to see if you’re most comfortable shoes, the ones that have taken you across continents and through cities, would be appropriate? Did you want to sport your oldest, most worn (most comfortable!) jeans to a meet a group of strangers? Were you really considering renting a tuxedo or digging that gown out of the closet?

    Are you worried you’ll stand out? Or are you hoping to sneak by? Are you afraid of looking “too nice” and separating yourself from the crowd in that way?

    As much as our teen selves and our inner rebels hate to admit, what we wear and the way we wear it communicates bits of our personality and what we stand for. Our clothes and our appearance is the easiest way a stranger can assesses us, and it is often the first thing we’re judged by when we first make contact.

    Recently, I attended an event where I watched a couple who went “all out” — yes, complete with costumes — easily start conversations and move with ease around the room. Their dress served as a flag, signaling to other guests that they were ready to meet and mingle and share ideas. It worked.

    So really, does it matter what the dress code is? Instead, think about:

    How do I want to represent myself in this situation?

    What would make me feel most confident when I enter? When I’m introduced?

    Do I want to fit in?

    Or do I want to stand out?

  • We’re so careful.

    We carefully plan our days, scheduling meetings and appointments to maximize our energy and time. We plan our evenings, scheduling outings and time at home in an attempt to balance work and play. Yet what if this careful planning is actually getting in our way? What if we’re creating a series of insulated experiences and limiting ourselves from true magic?

    It seems (too often!) that moments of inspiration—those flashes of brilliance when you just get it, “Aha! I need to write this down!”—happen when we least expect them. The memories we cherish and the stories our friends eagerly clasp are often the result of something unexpected, unplanned, maybe even a “mistake.”

    What if we are limiting ourselves and our own potential by limiting our exposure to the unpredictable? When we travel, we easily relinquish control and let ourselves live, experience, explore, and get lost.

    What would happen if we released control in our day-to-day?

  • First encounters

    When you meet someone, what’s the first question you ask?

    “What do you do?”

    “Where are you from?”

    “Who are you with?”

    “Why are you here?”

    Your question says just as much about you as their answer says about them.

  • The quiet room

    I like watching beginnings of events. There’s expectation in the room, uncertainty, and a hint of nervousness as people arrive and take note of their new surroundings. For a moment, the room is quiet. The swell of anticipation gradually takes over, and the evening soon turns strangers into friends.

    Opportunity is kind of like a dinner party. When it arrives, it can be difficult to know exactly what to do. What separates one person from the next is the line of action.

    Knowing you need to take advantage of this moment — receiving and giving and exchanging all that you can — can make the difference between success tomorrow and frustration today. You can never be 100% certain whether that circumstance will be revisited.

    Think about walking into a room. “There you are!” and “Here I am!” are both common responses. Each work in different ways.