Project Exponential

Process

A dinner party could change everything.

  • 12 questions to turn small talk into real talk 

    So much of getting to know someone is about asking the right questions (and really listening to the answer). If you’re feeling stumped on how to get beyond weather, kids, and menu options, use these prompts to guide you towards stuff that really matters. I’ve separated them into three categories to help you identify which questions to ask depending on situation and individual:

    • Passion – For individuals you admire and want to model your own life after; figure out what gets someone going, what moves them, brightens their day, fuels their dreams, inspires their work.
    • Personal – For individuals you’d like to get to know better; these questions can be effective ice breakers to better understand motivations of an acquaintance.
    • Bridge – For individuals you’d like to collaborate and partner with; these questions allow you to assess areas of overlap and uncover how you can thoughtfully connect and add value.

    Passion

    Uncover the sources from which individuals draw inspiration to learn more about their interests and gain added reserves of creativity, insight, and spark for yourself. See how they view the world (and think about ways you might help).

    1. What inspires you?

    2. What one problem do you presently wish you could solve?

    3. If you were given 1 million dollars, what would you do with it?

    4. What’s your favorite aspect of your work?

    Personal

    Not everyone finds it easy to talk about their hobbies, dislikes, and passions. Concrete questions can facilitate discussion and provide insight into someone’s dreams and goals. Ensure conversation feels less like an interview and more like an exchange by offering complementary ideas when appropriate.

    5. What does your perfect day look like?

    6. What would “your book” be about?

    7. What do you wish you would have learned in school (but didn’t)?

    8. What are you afraid of?

    Bridge

    Identifying pain points and similar areas of interest can assist your effectiveness as a connector and impresario. Turn an introductory conversation into something worthwhile by leaving something valuable behind — a new idea, a business contact, an unavoidable question.

    9. What’s the most difficult part of your work?

    10. What has been the most valuable introduction you’ve received?

    11. Where are you stuck?

    12. How can I help?

  • 10 questions to ask at a dinner party (instead of “What do you do?”)

    You’ve invited twelve of your closest friends for dinner. No one knows anyone else, and they’re from different parts of your life: Work, parenting group, school, bowling club, gym class. You’ve hired a chef and set the table. Now…how do you get people to talk? “What do you do?” is an easy question. Overused, expected. Here are 10 other questions you can ask, straight off the tables of Project Exponential dinners:

    1. Grand Central Station has room for a new restaurant in the basement. What should we recommend?
    2. The Embassy has asked us to suggest a week-long itinerary for a group of influential foreigners. No one speaks the same language. Where should we take them? What should we do?
    3. We’ve been commissioned to orchestrate vending machines that will be placed in high-traffic tourist areas. What’s inside?
    4. The Department of Education wants us to design a course that will become part of all high school curricula. What do we teach?
    5. How do you encourage risk-taking and entrepreneurial thinking among a team that is afraid to break the rules?
    6. We’ve been given access to a 3D printer and can print ONE THING to be distributed worldwide. What is the thing?
    7. If we were to write one book that everyone here could contribute to, what would it be?
    8. The mayor wants us to develop a ride-sharing program that encourages interaction among residents and visitors. Ideas?
    9. Apple wants us to throw their next company party. Is there a theme? Who do we invite?
    10. What one problem do you presently wish you could solve?

    Write questions on cards and pass them around the table. If you’re feeling really ambitious, separate your guests into teams and group individuals with complementary skills.

  • Connect today

    Pick up the phone and ask someone to meet you for lunch. Invite someone you’d like to learn from, someone you could get to know a little better. Choose four questions to bring along with you:

    • What advice would you have given yourself five years ago?
    • Favorite aspect of your work?
    • Most challenging part of your job?
    • You can pick one person to have coffee with. Who would it be?
    • Where do you go for inspiration?
    • What do you do to recharge?
    • Last meaningful book you read?
    • If you had an extra hour each day, how would you spend it?
    • If you were gifted one million dollars, what would you do?

    Tomorrow, send a thank you email with two things you learned.

  • When you meet the right person

    1. You are encouraged to continue.
    2. A new approach is considered.
    3. You learn something about yourself and/or the world.
    4. Unexpected commonalities are uncovered.
    5. Beliefs are questioned, challenged, or possibly scrutinized.
    6. Solutions are brainstormed, or different outcomes to existing situations are imagined.
    7. You are prompted to change, grow, create, question.
    8. Mutual beliefs are shared and exchanged.
    9. Meaningful conversation occurs, and a deep connection is experienced.
    10. Respect forms.
    11. Confidence is strengthened.
    12. You are inspired to explore a new path.
    13. Additional introductions manifest as a result of the meeting.
    14. An authentic emotional exchange takes place.
    15. The meeting leaves you with new ideas, zest for life, passion, or energy.

  • Creating opportunities

    I’m looking at a room of individuals who refuse to accept complacency, who want to embrace the revolutionary times we’re living in. These people are risk-takers, entrepreneurs, storytellers, researchers, bosses, and creative weavers. They are here because they want to understand where their biggest opportunities are, and they want to figure out what to do about them. It’s no accident we are here together.

    There’s something to be said for making decisions that allow you to place yourself in environments that support your work and your dreams, for seeking out others who encourage you to keep going, and for putting yourself in the game. It takes concentrated effort, some sacrifice, and the ability to imagine — to ask yourself what if, to wander away from the beaten path, to dare yourself to explore, and to schedule time into your days to chase opportunity.

    The best moments rarely come to you. They are the result of channeled energy, thought, patience, and effort. Look to create the opportunities you want. Possibility surrounds you. Make the choice to embrace it. It is absolutely possible, and you must.

  • The link between success and generosity is no accident

    Observation #1: The most successful people I know are also the most generous.

    • Leaders who give their time and of themselves endear those around them, building trust and respect among teams.
    • “Scarcity mentality” repels and detracts from passion, energy, and fulfillment.
    • Altruism and great financial success are not mutually exclusive.

    Observation #2: Some of the best connections arise from places of abundance and giving.

    • When you are focused on “the other,” conversations are more meaningful, authentic energy is exchanged, better solutions can be brainstormed.
    • Folks can sense greed and selfishness; it is not attractive.

    Observation #3: By giving to others, you can more clearly identify what brings you joy.

    • True growth comes from helping others, encouraging someone’s dreams, furthering their project.
    • Helping may be learned as a practiced skill but can emerge as a core element of your being.
    • Most artists, creators, and makers are givers — they share physically, mentally, and emotionally of themselves. Dedicated to their craft, they put their art into the world expecting little (if anything) in return. The emphasis is on the work, the sharing, and not necessarily the outcome.
    • Meaningful dreams evolve from a special sauce of individual enthusiasm, passion, sweat — and the generosity of others.